Tips to Keep the Home Fires Burning

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Last August we celebrated our 15th anniversary and I took a little photo walk down memory lane while sharing 15 Tips to Building a Stronger Marriage.   It is a great read if I do say so myself plus you also see the much younger, much thinner versions of the two of us!

Since it is the month of love, today I’m sharing a little simpler post using a fun acrostic instead!

Kissing to Keep the Home Fires Burning

Kiss a bunch!  It’s amazing what just making sure to have that personal show of affection every day can do for a relationship.

There’s no I in team!  Remembering always you and your spouse are on the same team is huge.  Sure, there will be times when one team member has to pick up the slack and other times you want to give up because you feel like there are more losses than wins.  Outside pressure and tension from “real” life can really build up and create some friction.  Learning to argue in a respectful manner and always remembering you are, after all, on the same team working towards the same goals makes a huge difference.

Send sweet messages!  If you have been around here long then you already know we started our marriage living in different towns. We got into a habit of sending each other messages here and there throughout the day and just the little notion that Keith had me on his mind during the day made me feel so special.  We do not send nearly as many messages as we use to but you can bet when I receive that text asking how my day is going I am smiling from ear to ear.

Save it for Jesus!  Y’all, there are times when marriage can be so hard and my initial response is to want to be in control.  Enter my hot head and sometimes my untamed tongue and next thing you know I am being judgmental and citing every “wrong” thing Keith has ever done.  These times are when it’s best to take some quiet time for myself and spend some time praying over my marriage. Praying for my own heart and for Keith.  There should be no record of wrongs and plenty of grace.

Say I love you!  Yes, we obviously know we love each other or we would not be here but reinforcing that love every day by saying the words is so powerful.

Don’t waste fun!  Learn to laugh at yourself, stop and smell the roses every once in awhile and learn to let go a little.  Make a conscious choice to do something your spouse loves to do and don’t just be physically present.

Go on dates!  Time away from the kids and even the house can really give you some time together to remember all the reasons you first fell for each other to begin with.  It is so hard when kids are little to break away and even harder when they are a little older and involved in a bajillion activities but it is so worth it to take the time to reconnect.  Dates do not have to be extravagant, they just need to be a time you can focus on one another and not be distracted.

I asked Keith if he wanted to give any advice and he said “don’t snore and show your boobs more”. Ha!  If only we life could be as simple for women as it is for men.

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42 Comments

  1. Bha ha ha, show your boobs more…what a riot, he and Mr. Nine would get along great!!! Sweet kisses and notes are the BEST!!! And so are you! Keith better count his lucky stars to have you!!

  2. Hahaha! I'm dying at your husband's advice! I think all men must be the same and it must now matter how long you've been married 😉 I love your advice–especially the one about sending messages. Dustin leaves for work before I wake up, and sometimes I wake up to sweet notes left for me on the kitchen counter.

    MeetTheShaneyfelts

  3. I had to laugh at what Keith said because my husband would say the exact same thing. I love this post. You bring up some great tips and I love the sending sweet messages. Brandon always texts me something sweet right as I am getting to work and it always brings a smile to my face. Small gestures like that are simply the best. Have a great day!

  4. Oh my goodness! I wasn't prepared for Keith's comment at the end! That was awesome (and SO Keith!). Great advice, friend! Happy to say that we've taken so many of these and put them into practice. Relationships are definitely intentional – you can't just put them on cruise and expect everything to be peachy!

  5. Oh how funny! Keith and Tony are so alike! hahaha! We are rekindling our empty nest life! Taylor moved into her first grown up apartment yesterday and we are back to just being us 2. Life is good. My kids are self sufficient and I can't wait to spend a few days next week over at our beach house! Golf, beach walks and some fun dinners are just what the doctor ordered!

  6. Such great advice Shelly. I really need to go on more dates with my hubby. Since our kids got older we usually take them everywhere with us! Crazy but soon we'll be empty nesters and we'll begin a new phase. And I think Keith gave great advice, nice job representing the husbands!

  7. Haha, love your husband's advice! I love the 'Leave it to Jesus' and no record if wrongs.

    Carrie
    curlycraftymom.com

  8. This is great! My husband is so good about texting me especially when he is traveling and telling me he loves me. It's always a bright spot in my day! Great advice!

  9. I always get so excited about little hand written notes….probably because they are hard to come by. Keith is pretty simple…so when he actually writes down his feelings I know how much it really meant! And i may be guilty of carrying them around in my wallet. 🙂 Hope you have an amazing Valentines with your love.

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