On a beautiful fall morning a few weekends back, I was enjoying a cup of coffee and catching up on reading on my back porch when I noticed this beautiful spider web spun in my neighbor’s yard. From where I sat the sun was shining on it just right and it looked so intricate and perfect. I immediately rushed inside to grab my big camera as I was determined to capture this web in its splendor. As I played with the shots at different angles to grab the light in different ways and look at it from different perspectives from my backyard, I began to think about how this web related to my life.
I seem to have spent most of my life in between feeling happy and feeling unfulfilled but never really content. I would like to say I have “grown up” enough to never struggle with this now but I would only be fooling myself. You see, just like I viewed this beautiful, perfect web in my neighbor’s yard, there are so many times that I catch myself beginning to let my thoughts wander over into my neighbor’s life that appears so much “more” than mine.
It starts out innocent enough in my mind, but as I dive deeper and deeper into the comparison between someone else’s life and mine, I am robbed of my chance to have real joy in the life that has been prepared for me. All of those things about my husband that drive me batty come to the forefront and I fail to remember any of the things that make him the man I love. Scary mom starts to show up and I begin to have expectations which are not realistic for my children.
Typically during this time I also begin to realize I have slacked off on my daily time with God and have stopped praying daily for others as well as myself. All of these things are a recipe for disaster at our house and thankfully I’m much better at recognizing the signs and begin to work my way back to “normal”. Maybe as the spider was weaving his web he slacked off a little too and when looking closer at his web I see that it is not perfectly woven after all.
In my heart of hearts I know that God knew exactly what He was doing when He brought my husband into my life and while, oh my goodness we are from opposite universes when it comes to daily living, my husband feeds my soul in the ways I need it most. I am not going to lie, I have some amazing kids. They all have slightly different personalities which has challenged me and led me to learn how to manage my feelings and responses. I know they are all perfectly paired with me as their mom. When I spend time with other children whom I did not give birth it becomes fully apparent that God sure knew how to pick mine perfectly for me and for that I am super grateful.
All this comparing can just get me deeper and deeper into a rut with friends as well. I really have some days when I have to talk, literally out loud, to myself and remind myself over and over that this is MY life. The one God planned but the one I am living based on the choices I made. When I start measuring myself against what my friends are doing or not doing I sometimes feel like that spider sitting back in the web just waiting for that bug to become trapped, wrapped up and smothered. (Seriously, all out honesty here on this blog!) Comparison can really lead you to an awful place of jealousy, resentment, bitterness and negativity and guess what? Instead of being like the spider and sucking the life out of that little bug, you end up feeling smothered and all the joy is sucked right out of you!
Being a happy person other people truly love and count on is truly who I want to be and there is no room in that girl’s life to waste on being unfulfilled or discontented. When I am filling my heart with Jesus there is so much less time to worry about how much better someone else is weaving their web. This was the reading in my Jesus calling book one day this week and I just felt like it was truly placed there at just the right moment. Don’t you love that?
People tend to think their circumstances determine the quality of their lives. So they pour their energy into trying to control those situations. They feel happy when things are going well, and sad or frustrated when things don’t turn out as they’d hoped. They rarely question this correlation between their circumstances and feelings. Yet it is possible to be content in any an every situation. Put more energy into trusting Me and enjoying My Presence. Don’t let your well-being depend on your circumstances. Instead, connect your joy to My precious promises: I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go. I will meet all your needs according to My glorious riches. Nothing in all creation will be able to separate you from My love.
God knows what He is doing and my job is to open my heart and listen and spend my time weaving my own web.
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I LOVE this!!! So beautifully written, friend! Wow – I don't even know what to say – that was awesome – I'm going back to read it again!
Thank you friend…it was definitely in my head and my heart and had to find a way out! Now….on to practice what I preach!
Wonderfully written!!! I needed to hear that today! I am learning everyday that I need to trust Gods plan for me and my family, it may not look like the plan in another family that seems to be perfect and wrapped up in a nice bow…. but, it is the path we are meant to be on!
Thank you for writing this… Very up lifting!! – Crystal
Thank you for reading Crystal……glad it touched you!
Wonderful writing! Great reminders!
Thank you Kari!
I love this! I could relate to every word you wrote. I have to constantly remind myself that Comparison is the thief of joy. As women, I think one of the hardest things we can strive for is true contentment and joy in our circumstances. And I love how you said that you feel like God picked your children for you. I have thought this many times too. Anway, can't say enough about how your words touched me today. 🙂
Thank you Tanya!! I love reading comments like this..not only does it make me feel less crazy it also makes me so overjoyed that someone else might gain something from my words!
Shelly, I am really glad you linked up last week, this is SO good. So honest and such a great reminder. (Because, lady, you are NOT alone.) This actually goes along with the message I heard today in church… our pastor was talking about how it's OK if we get enjoyment out of worldly things, but we need to know that the ONLY person/thing that can fill the void completely is Jesus. So, so good. Thank you for sharing!
Thanks for hosting Grateful Heart Ember! I so believe this totally and fill like the earlier in life we learn that only Jesus can fill your soul the happier life can be.
I'm glad I found this on your Rewind Friday post – I needed to hear this! I've been so down lately and let things like jealousy and negativity get the best of me. Thanks for re-sharing this! -xx Leah || Chasing Texas
I'm so glad Leah! I struggled with this for far longer in my life than I should have and I still let this creep in and it just sours my heart. It's so hard not to compare but I always remind myself that so much of my life has been determined by my own decisions and I've traveled MY path not someone else's. Here is a bible verse I seriously keep posted to remind myself!
Romans 12:6-8New International Version (NIV)
6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your[a] faith; 7 if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; 8 if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead,[b] do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.