No Judgement

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I was reading Jennifer’s post at Champagne Supernova titled You Must Be a Parent and it made me think about whether or not the expressions on my face really tell the true story when I see a mom out in public.  And yes….I am kind of a Champagne Supernova groupie these days!

After reading I remembered a night out to Olive Garden with my little family over a long Thanksgiving weekend years ago.  My Bigs were probably 2 and 5 and back then going to Olive Garden was a huge deal and something we reserved for when the students all left town and things were quiet.   The chair was a rolling chair and had a space between the back and the seat and Riley thought that was the greatest thing ever.  His little two year old self kept sliding through the space and then pushing the chair around and getting back in over and over.  He was giggling and laughing and really just being a complete pill.  There was a man sitting across from us who was of foreign decent and alone at dinner and he kept giving us a side stare.  Reid was beside himself upset that first of all he couldn’t make Riley sit still and secondly because he felt this man was judging our parenting skills.  Our food finally came and everyone calmed down enough to eat.  As the man finished up his dinner he got up from his seat and stopped by our table to let us know how much he had enjoyed watching our family at dinner. He told us he had not seen his family for six months and missed them so much.

It was one of those moments in life that I am positive was placed right before me to remind me about judgement.  You just never know where someone is on their journey or what kind of situation they may be dealing with.  We have all been there when we make an assumption over a situation based on outward appearance but almost always we do not know the rest of the story.

So here is my challenge for you.  The next time you are in a situation where you want to jump to judgement give the person the benefit of the doubt.  So many people are battling demons every day from bad marriages to sick children to mental health issues to lost jobs.  It is so easy to sit back and say “well if that was me” but it isn’t you and it is not your place to cast that judgement.  A friendly smile, a kind word of understanding or maybe even a quick hug will go a long way to making someone feel loved instead of judged.  You might just be able to change the course of someones path!

You also may just change your path!  Do I still pass judgement? Yes! Unfortunately this is just one of those ways we are broken. What I will tell you is that as you find yourself casting judgement less and less on others, you will find you are less and less worried about whether someone is casting judgement on you!

Link up parties here!

21 Comments

    1. Isn't it the truth Lori? I'm so thankful that God already knows all my weaknesses and is there handing me grace every time I fail

    1. I'm so grateful I have so many little times in my life to look back on to remind me on crappy days that God truly is right here working for me!

  1. If we all were honest with ourselves Shelly, we would admit we have the evil judgment side you talked about. So quick to judge. What an awesome story to share. I too, am a Champagne Superonova groupie. I was so glad I found her when she first began blogging and hooked up with her on bloglovin. She makes me laugh.

  2. Such a great and very true reminder. So excited for your new link up with Katie…you girls rock. I love how uplifting and positive you always are. it makes me smile.

  3. Love this post! I wish I had a nickel for every time I initially misjudged a situation, or worse, a person, or have had it happen to me. I love your "loved not judged" line, and that is what I *try* to do — sometimes more successfully than others. Thanks for this great reminder! BTW, I have a similar story flying on a military transport with a 3 year old. No one wanted to sit near the kid when we boarded at 4 AM assuming she would cry the whole time, but by 9 AM, many of the men were asking to trade seats with me for a while because they missed their kids! 🙂

  4. What a great post, Shelley!

    Isn't it true that we NEVER know what someone around us is thinking or dealing with! I find it amazing that the man watching you during dinner was just lonely and missing his family.

    What a great reminder to assume the best and press on!

    Came over on Little R and R, and I'm glad to read your post today. I also pinned you here: https://www.pinterest.com/melredd/blog-link-parties-and-blog-link-ups/ and followed you Pinterest and Liked you on FB.

    Hope you have a blessed day today~
    Melanie

    1. Thanks for all the love Melanie! It really is true…if you don't have all the information it's easy to assume the worst but so much better to assume the best! Have a great day!

  5. Oh Shelley I was in this predicament today. I was at Target and there were two homeless people inside the door arguing about what they had spent the money they got "begging" – their words not mine. I immediately judged – and then I felt horrible. After Sunday's sermon on judging at our church here I was being afflicted by the human condition. From their conversation it was evident their problems (drugs, the man was ranting over it) are immense and they need guidance and love not another white girl in Target disgruntled at them. Thank you for this post – as it is really hitting home right now!

  6. It's human nature Amanda….so hard to change our thinking isn't it? Thank goodness God already knows how imperfect we are and gives us so much grace….that when we accept it allows us to offer it more willingly to others.

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