This is 50!

The day finally arrived and I turned the big 5-0 and you know what? It wasn’t so bad! I surrounded myself with some of my favorite people and I honestly just enjoyed the heck out of being celebrated. This is 50! While I know every day won’t be full of smiles, I hope to always be able to find some nugget of joy.

So here are a few fun pictures from my celebration! It was a beautiful night and I totally soaked up the attention like a pro. I really feel like I grew more in the 10 years of my forties than I have my entire life so of course I want to keep building on that! After a little reflecting, I’m sharing a little bit of what has brought me here.

Own it!

This is YOUR life and you should own it. When you do something you are proud of BE PROUD! Likewise if you make a huge mistake, take responsibility, learn from it and move forward. Owning your life doesn’t mean you have to love the place you’re in but it does mean you are accountable to yourself and willing to do the hard work to make changes. You own the choice to keep growing instead of finding an excuse to stay in a place you don’t like.

Be yourself

I know it seems so cliche’ and almost silly to be saying this at 50 but I honestly think I spent my twenties and thirties trying to be someone I wasn’t. In my forties I found my stride and by fifty I know life is just too damn short to be anyone but who I know how to be.

That’s not to say the person I am doesn’t have room to continually improve because Lord knows I do. It does mean I get to make changes that improve the person I’m meant to be instead of making changes to conform to the ideals of others.

Choose Your People

Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself but also people who challenge you. Be on the lookout for those you can mentor but make sure it comes from the heart. One thing I’ve learned about friendship is age doesn’t create a divider.

While I would love to think at fifty I would be a mentor to younger women, I also find myself continually inspired by women of all ages, all races, all walks of life. It’s okay to have friends who are older than you but you can also learn so much from others much younger.

Replace Lies with Truth

I think this first started for me after hearing a sermon on intentions versus actions. We love to judge ourselves on our intentions and others on their actions; it’s so true. I don’t get this right every single time but by learning to consider this when I’m pissed at someone elses actions it usually keeps me from derailing or worse yet retaliating. It’s taught me to give grace even when it seems least deserved.

This works in reverse too. While there was a time I would have really stressed about what someone else thought about my actions or behavior, I remind myself now they don’t know my heart. They don’t know what my morning might have been like or what my family might be dealing with.

It has to be said as well, growing my faith in my 40’s has given me the ability to be more discerning, to recognize the lies and to trust the truth. To remember that even on the hardest days I am enough.

Honor Your Time

I have some bad news for you. You cannot do it all. None of us can. You want to know another secret? You don’t have to!! The worst mistake I ever made was trying to be “all the things” and it led to so many days of feeling like I was drowning. Learning to say no was a huge turning point for me. I hated it at first and felt so guilty. Then one day I had to quit a job volunteering in our church nursery due to lots of weekens at the ballpark and the director told me my family should always be my first ministry.

Y’all, it changed my life! It was like a HUGE lightbulb went on and I realized by trying to do all the things I thought I had to do, I was slacking on all the things I needed to do. Now when someone asks me to do something my initial response has changed from yes to let me check my calendar.

Our time is precious and should be spent well. If I don’t have time to do the things that fill me up, why would I ever add things that aren’t my jam? Honoring the time I have with the people who mean the most to me and the projects that bring me the most joy has been a positive shift.

I’m sure I could go on and on here, but I’m sure you get the gist. Bottom line is you get to choose who you want to be!! Don’t let anyone tell you any different.

Cheers to the next 50 years!