Smiling Through the Chaos

Several years ago I shared this on the blog and thought heading into Mother’s Day weekend it would be a great time to share again. Smiling through the chaos of momlife is not always an easy task but I hope this sweet memory offers you a different perspective. You are doing a great job mom!

Do you ever find yourself smiling at the chaos?  I’ll admit chaos is not my favorite but I’ve learned to embrace the seasons as they may come.  My vision of chaos changed a bit after my oldest daughter unknowingly opened my eyes.  

When Jordan was in high school she brought home a sampling of poetry she wrote for English class and casually tossed it aside.  As I was thumbing through the folder I came across the poem below.  Oh if you could have seen my face!  As I started reading I was tense, almost angry at the thought she saw our life as chaotic.  I mean, geez, I was killing myself trying to manage working full time and raising four kids, carpooling all over God’s creation for soccer and baseball while dragging a toddler and pre-schooler around.  All while trying to create a tranquil environment at home for them to thrive.  And then I got to the end of the poem and realized she did not see the chaos the same way that I did.  

Go ahead, read along!  

When Jordan & Riley were little I was so anal about the housework.  Everything had to be in place and the house had to be clean.  I spent so much of my free time straightening and cleaning and missing out on quality time with them. Once Dillon came along, I no longer had the time or energy to keep up.  I had to make a decision about what I could stand to let go and what had to be done.  

I learned to close bedroom doors to avoid seeing the tornado left behind and only ventured in about twice a year with a trash bag to purge.  After finding clean and folded clothes in the dirty clothes hamper, I learned to let go of the laundry and gave instructions how to wash their own clothes.  If they chose to dig through the laundry basket for clean clothes, I let them.  Don’t get me wrong, there were things I never let go like a clean kitchen but realizing at some point  I just couldn’t do it “all” and stay sane was a turning point for me.

To remove all the chaos from my house would remove all these precious people from my world.  My idea of clean and theirs is never going to be the same!   Someday the house will be quiet and I will only have Keith to pick up after (he also has a different definition of clean) and it will be clutter free and organized and I will surround myself with pictures and memories that have nothing to do with chaos and everything to do with love.  I will look forward to the days when they all return with big families of their own and we can make a big mess and not care one little bit about anything but creating memories.

As a mom and a wife I think I often worry so much about maintaining a functional household, I often forget to actually function in the household!  It’s obvious the kids do not see the mess! Do I really want the one thing they remember about me to be my constant frenzy over the mess?  I still suck at this so many days and still lose my stuff sometimes but as with all things I am a work in progress.

I hope this offers a little encouragement to you moms still in living in the hectic years of parenting toddlers to teens. It goes by faster than you can possibly imagine and the next thing you know you will be wondering what to do with all your free time and space. It’s easier said than done, but try to embrace your season and soak up the joy and practice smiling through the chaos.

Wishing you all a Happy Mother’s Day!