Reality Bites Thursday

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If I had a nickle for every time someone has said to me “you have it all together” I would be wealthy. This is the post to show you I do not in fact “have it all together”.  I really think I must have embraced the “fake it til you make it” mantra years ago and while many days I do feel like I’ve got a handle on things there are days (weeks) when I do not. Order is my friend and I can handle a day out of order but when the entire week goes to crap I begin to feel anxiety sweep in, the blood begins to boil and I am extremely unsettled.  The result this week has been feeling overwhelmed enough that I don’t feel I can breath in enough air and extreme fatigue.  I just do not feel I can get enough sleep.  
The good news is I know this is temporary chaos.  For those of you out there who thrive on renovating homes and DIY projects I applaud you, envy you, want to emulate you but it is not in my DNA.  This one little bathroom reno, not even the full bathroom mind you, has me all worked up. 

We are on day four of no master shower which means every morning when Keith awakens at the ass crack of dawn 4:45am he mosies to the other side of the house, across the brown paper that has been laid down, for his shower and then back to our room to dress.  What I should have done all week is jump out of bed at the same time and start the coffee but instead I continue to drift in and out of sleep.

One of the things I despise the most is dust….y’all it’s everywhere in my master bed and bath.  The furniture is covered, the floor is covered and in hindsight I think we should have just covered the bed and gone to sleep in the guest room.

I have made zero trips to the gym this week even though last night I slept in my workout clothes as extra motivation.  Such a catch 22 because the workouts actually give me energy and relieve so much stress but I just could not wrap my mind around it all.  Except for Monday night when I was writing my day in the life post, I have also not washed my face before going to bed.

In order to shut the master closet door I had to take this shoe holder off the door and I also added some of the things from the bathroom to my closet floor.  Due to the overall inability to get too far into the closet I’ve just been tossing clothes on the floor instead of hanging them up.  It’s a disaster and this does not make me want to get dressed every day.  
Tuesday was the only night I had a meal planned.  Dinner has been chips and hot sauce for me two nights and I am thinking tonight may have to be breakfast.  For lunch yesterday I ate avocado toast, two mini cucumbers and some berries because that is what was available.  
So this morning as I was struggling to get enough air and focus to get through the day I started feeling selfish and guilty.  My struggle this week is temporary.  My house is a disaster and my schedule is out of whack but tomorrow is a new day and the house will eventually be back in order. As I think of friends whose struggle is so much more real than this, so much more of a daily reality where things like a tidy house and a routine no longer hold the same importance, I am reminded  how blessed I am by this mess.  I have a home, a husband to disrupt my sleep, kids to dirty the dishes and a great job that allows me to do home renovations.  Today I didn’t need order as much as I needed to change my perspective!  
Thanks for reading my random reality post.  This little space really helps me work through some things in my mind sometimes and I appreciate you following along.  Here’s to smiling through the chaos.
Linking up with some favorites today||Thoughts for Thursday with Home of Malones & East Coast Chic Thinking Out Loud ThursdayThank Goodness it’s ThursdayInspirationThis is How We RollShine Blog Hop, Three Things Thursday with Kristine @ The Foley FamMegan @ Absolute MommyNay @ Coffee-N-InkParty at My Place with Grammie Time 

34 Comments

  1. Girlfriend! Thanks for being so real! Although you made me laugh – which I know was not your original intent for this post – I can SOOO freakin' sympathize with you. We've all been there. Just breathe. This too shall pass. Let it go. Don't make me send you a snap of me singing!! Ha! Love you and your bathrooms are going to be the envy of the neighborhood. On a side note, we have flipped three homes and if Mr. Horton even SUGGESTS renovating something else in the future, I may have to reach for a deadly weapon. Those days were horrible so I don't envy you. Got any vodka and a Sonic drink?

  2. The fact that you're not afraid to admit you have chaos in your life & even show pictures, means you have it all together! Perfection is overrated! I'm way more drawn to the bloggers that keep it real than the ones that make me feel soooo inadequate. You keep being you!!

  3. Hang in there! It will all be worth it! If you need someone to take you for a porch/patio date, just let me know! 😉

  4. Hang in there, girlie! We're very similar. I love routine, working out and meal planning and things being in order so I totally get what you're going through as when we moved and were getting stuff done, it was the same way… I love the perspective you have though and your grateful heart! It will come to pass soon!! Not soon enough I know— but soon!

  5. Good luck with the reno! I can get to flustered by chaos and when I left things drop, I know in order to feel better I need to pick them back up, but sometimes I just don't want to! Great change of thinking though – hopefully today is even better.

  6. Just breathe and like everyone told me when we renovated our ENTIRE house last year……You will love it when its done! LOL ….now we are doing our backyard. WTH!!!!! Hope tomorrow is a good day for you! And your bathroom will be amazing when done. And NO I am not a fan of DIY or renovations of any kind anymore! OVER IT !!!!

  7. I can so relate to this! I feel like most of our years of home ownership have been spent in total renovation chaos rather than actually living in a home. Hang in there, it will get better. And then you'll start something new, haha! Seriously, though, I loved your "perspective change." We all need that from time to time — sometimes even daily! 🙂

  8. I can totally relate to this! I feel like life has been completely turned upside down these past few weeks but I have to constantly remind myself that 'this too shall pass'! On another note, I love your bedside tables! Thanks for being so real – hang in there!

  9. I can totally relate girl and walking across that paper at 445 (that's still the middle of the night) would have my blood boiling. Lol

  10. Yep we've all had these weeks. We once took out a patch of tile floor in our entryway…they jack hammer it out. Want to talk about dust?! Seriously, I'd find patches of it stuck to the walls a year later. I understand.

    I only worked out once too but I did work in the yard. That counts!

    Don't beat yourself up. You are busy!!

  11. Always love the honesty….especially about the not taking your makeup off before bed….when I am out of whack…that usually goes too and it makes me feel horrible in the morning…so mad at my lazy self. We tiled our living room recently and I was NOT prepared for the amount of dust. I tried to cover as much as I could with builders plastic and STILL had dust EVERYWHERE. The shower looks like its going to be beautiful….it will be worth it in the end.

  12. Sorry about your chaos. 😁 But a question about your pink studded a halogen flats 😉; are they more coral-colored or hot pink. In your closet and on your IG post awhile back they look more hot pink, and the online description of coral doesn't seem accurate.
    I know you'll survive the reno and be so happy in the end. 😊 Are y'all doing your bathroom floors, too?

  13. Hey friend!! Unfortunately I ordered those when they first went on sale back in February and they must have been an older color…they are pink patent and I no longer see them. No floors….I would have loved to but we redid those when we moved in and while I don't love the color they are still in perfect condition.

  14. I seriously can't wait for our girls night next week…..was trying to figure out a way to see you for brunch this weekend. 🙂 Maybe settle for lunch after church? Dillon has baseball all weekend but Sunday Carly and I are going to go to the gender reveal the Taylor girls have put together.

  15. I do think perfection is overrated for sure Emily…..and I'm so glad at some point I let go of so many things I realized I couldn't control in my life. I really did feel so much better after my little rant. 🙂 Hope you have a super great weekend!

  16. Keep your butt on the patio. Mine is on the deck and husband grilling and having cocktails. Happy Friday!!

  17. I hate DUST too. We are in the process of taking the awful popcorn ceilings down room by room and the dust it creates, unsettles me too. I freak out and I drink more during these renovations. I know I shouldn't but whatever gets us through the night. Remember that song? Hang in there Shelly, your beautiful new bathroom will be worth all the mess. At least that is what I tell myself.

  18. Oh Michelle….my mom has those ceilings and I cannot imagine the mess!! I just need a day home alone to clean now. I could have gotten so much done after baseball yesterday but it was so beautiful outside and we decided to plant some flowers, work in the yard and grill instead. This morning…well…I'm on the patio drinking coffee and hoping going to church is going to give me just the perspective I need to tackle the day without losing my shiz. Hope you have a super Sunday!

  19. Oh goodness gracious it is never fun to live in the middle of a construction zone. We once had to gut what was our only bathroom when I was about 6 months pregnant with Emily. Baha ha ha! Yeah, that was a blast. Hope everything gets back to normal soon. It will all be worth it.

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