My Love – Happy 17th Anniversary
Today Keith and I are celebrating our 17th anniversary! I just keep asking him if he can even believe we have been married for 17 years. It seems like yesterday and forever all at the same time! There is no one else I would rather be doing life with than this guy. We drive each other nuts, love each other hard and in the end we remain committed to not giving up on this marriage.
After 20 years together we have figured out our love languages! I am not sure what took us so long but it seems like this was such a struggle for us. Keith’s love language is quality time followed by physical touch and I’m all about acts of service followed closely by words of affirmation. The biggest challenge for us is actually being selfless enough to give these things to each other! He would love nothing more than to have me sitting beside him on the couch every night and I would love nothing more than him doing some household project with me. Balance…it ain’t easy.
Finances were a stretch for probably the first 10 years of our marriage. I brought a ton of debt and two kids with me when we got married and I never thought we would see the day of living free of credit card debt but here we are! It feels great to know we have survived getting two kids through college and both have zero student loans remaining. While we could still do better with saving money, we have a little nest egg and the freedom of knowing we can pay our bills without the penny pinching. Of course we still have two kids to put through college and retirement in our next 17 years so our future deserves some more diligent planning.
Communication is still one of our biggest struggles. We just do not do it the same way! I cannot tell you how many times we get our wires crossed because we don’t understand the other. The good news is we are trying to communicate! I’m not sure we will ever get this down 100% because we just process information so much differently but I have definitely learned from past mistakes to ask more questions or ask for confirmation to be sure we are both saying the same thing!
You really don’t need the details but let’s just say we are 100% good at the love department and I truly never knew it could be this amazing. I know it comes with a lot of blood, sweat and tears in the trust department but once you can truly be yourself and you truly have trust in another person, being wholly intimate with another person is the best. In my younger days I used the bedroom as my own little weapon to get my way and I’m certainly glad I outgrew that!
Putting our marriage first is not always easy. With Keith working 90 miles away and driving every day, kids activities and my full time job, finding the time for a date can be a challenge. He is always willing to make time for a date night while I have a checklist full of things in my head I can’t get past. We do not always have a set date night, but just remembering that this is important and realizing when it has been way too long is kind of a big deal. This past year we actually took two vacations alone together and it was definitely a huge relationship builder to have that uninterrupted time and no big agenda. So whether it is 30 minutes on the porch while the kids are inside watching TV or a long time away from the hassle of every day life, taking time to share our hearts and reconnect is huge for us.
And even though he will grumble about it, he will stop and take some pictures with me! Keith can seem a little rough around the edges and definitely keeps his guard up a little but deep down he’s a big softy. He loves me so hard, supports me in everything I do and even though he tries he rarely tells me no. We still disagree on probably as many things as we agree on but when it comes to our marriage we are always on the same page. Whatever it takes we are in it for the long haul!
