Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas! Christmas cards are my favorite to receive each year from family and friends and I love looking back through the scrapbooks at how everyone has grown and changed. Our family continues to grow and I’m just so proud of them all. Of course the real showstopper is always Miss Haisley and we just cannot get enough of her. She is definitely surrounded by so much love from all of us and we think she is pretty much perfect.
As our family continues to grow, we, or maybe I should just say I, have hit a few bumps in the road with my feelings over Christmas. I’ve always been adamant I did not want my kids to feel guilty or stressed over the holidays as they add significant others and their families to the mix. I still feel this way, of course, but y’all…no one tells you this is easier said than done.
Last year was our first Christmas to not have all of my babies in the same house on Christmas morning and I may have cried a time or two. While I tried to keep our Christmas morning traditions the same, it was just, well, different. Even Carly & Dillon were feeling the loss a bit. I knew I didn’t want a repeat this year and the one thing I’ve realized is it’s OKAY if we make new traditions instead of trying to force the old ones into our new family model.
Recently, Emily P. Freeman dropped a podcast titled 5 Strong ways to Finish Regular which was all about how to finish the year if finishing strong isn’t really where you are. One of the 5 on her list was to be growing and I found peace in these words. Emily says “real growth can sometimes feel like shrinking, like smallness, like death. All growth does not mean something bigger.” This is what happens even in our families at times. To continue to grow as a parent means the death of some things I once held so dear along with a shrinking role in parenting. That doesn’t mean there isn’t something equally beautiful beginning to grow on the other side (hello grandchildren!) but it is changing.
No stranger to being a little passive agressive at times, I made an appointment with my therapist on December 2nd to ask for some coping mechanisms to insure I did not alienate my family. That would for sure not be healthy growth! The one thing I knew is I wanted to feel all of the joy in the season and have my eyes open to find it even in unexpected places. She asked me what I would need to make this happen and my answer was to remove things that cause stress and to be chosen.
That’s all a mom wants sometimes right? To know that after all the years of playing Santa and creating memories that a small part of their hearts remember and still choose you. This may look different and it may not be on Christmas morning but they will still come with full hearts and we will continue to grow and make new traditions and that will give me joy if I’m willing to open my eyes and see it! When you look hard, you will see they are also bringing some fo those beautiful traditions into their own Christmas mornings while also making new ones and there is joy in knowing they too are growing!
So to any of you moms that are feeling a little sorry for yourself as Christmas changes for you, I feel you. Being a mom is not for sissies and that is for certain. Take the time to mourn what is gone if you need to, but don’t get stuck there. There is still joy on the other side!
Merry Christmas to you all!
