Loving (Me) Unconditionally
I visited my mom this past weekend and she had this out as part of her Valentine decoration and it just cracked me up. My first thought was oh my goodness what I wouldn’t give for some only child over confidence! Ha!
The more I thought about it though, the more I realized that being able to love yourself is a true gift. Accepting yourself without constantly searching for someone else’s approval would be so incredibly freeing. I think I have spent most of my life looking for someone to reassure me I was on the right track.
None of us are perfect and while we should always be striving to be the best version of ourselves, that doesn’t mean we can’t learn to love ourselves the way God loves us. While we are practicing giving grace to others maybe we should allow a little grace for ourselves.
For those of you who know my mom and me, you know we are super close but to say we have different opinions is an understatement. We are like opposite ends of the spectrum. I don’t really “get” her most of the time and she pretty much thinks I’m crazy at times. She is an only child and I am a typical oldest child.
The one thing we both have in common, however, is severe stubbornness. We both believe we are right….like ALL THE TIME!! I cannot let anything go and neither can she. Often an argument can escalate extremely quickly. The next thing you know words have come out of my mouth that are definitely disrespectful to her and the whole time I know it’s happening and I JUST….CAN’T…STOP.
I have prayed a lot about this and tried to really figure out the trigger for me and what it always comes back to is my need to convince her I’m right in order to feel like I have her approval. Seeking her approval instead of searching for God’s approval has robbed her of my unconditional love and robbed me of being able to fully love myself. No one is perfect and I am always going to have days where I am not proud of my actions but to rob myself of the grace God has offered only stands to lead me into a spiral that can lead nowhere fast.
At the end of the day, I know my mom is incredibly proud of me. She has never once turned away from me regardless of the decisions I have chosen in life. It is my weak spot to question whether that love is truly unconditional and satan knows that. For now I am going to focus on letting God’s word lead my decisions and give myself grace on the days when I blow it.
So Mom….if you are reading…..just know that the next time things start to derail if I start chanting “Jesus, Jesus” I’m really just working on loving me the way you love you!
1 John 3:20 For whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and He knows everything.
1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
Ok…I am pretty sure we are secretly BFF's!! First, its so funny because I told my hubs the other day that I am 99% of the time right!! 🙂 He just laughed!! Second, my mom and I are like this…We love each other, but things can escalate quick, and this is something I have been praying over! I normally just stop and breathe…Even with the hubs I would rather stop before arguments get out of control! It is hard but oh so worth it! I know this is all Satan just knowing what gets us going, and I think its our job to respond in a way that Christ would want us to! (you saying Jesus!!) 🙂
Wow, so many insights in this post…so heartfelt! I have a similar relationship with my aunt. We both need to be right all the time, and I think we clash because our personalities are so much alike. Family dynamics can be really complicated!
I hear you lady! I adore my mom, but we are so similar and so different it can cause some friction! Great post!
This was so beautiful! Yes, yes, YES!!! I can relate to this on so many levels!
What a great post! This sounds similar to me and my mom. I also love that she has that up in her house- I need to remember that. I think we all struggle with seeking approval from others whether we mean to or not. Thanks for linking up with us today!
This sounds a lot like one of my middle daughters and myself. I am for certain your mother is so proud of you even when your choices are different than what she would make. I know with my Cassie I can't always see her side until she does it and it works out perfectly for her life.
Shelly I love this! This week has been rough and this really touched me 🙂
And thanks for linking up!
Really cute post! It is getting me excited for valentines day!
Melanie @ meandmr.com
My mom and I used to have difficulties. She kicked me out of the house when I was younger – totally random and totally unexpected – but as I've gotten older and moved away, we now have a very close relationship. It's kinda like all of the things that were problematic have faded away.
This is EVERYTHING. It's something I work on everyday and wish more people would work towards as well. Thanks for posting this!
What a beautiful post – your insights into your own relationship with your mom are wonderful. Thank you for linking up at the Thank Goodness it's Thursday party – I'm a new follower.
Thank you for contributing to Motivation Monday!
Such sweet encouragement~ Thank you!
Elizabeth
allkindsofthingsblog.com