Heart on my Sleeve

It’s the month for love and I don’t know about you, but I love pulling a heart or two and lots of pink and red into my looks. This sweet top has been hanging around a bit and is such an easy one to dress up or down. It works under a jacket with a skirt but equally as well under a cardigan with jeans. Sometimes it’s fun to wear your heart on your sleeve.

Often I can be guilty of wearing my heart on my sleeve in a negative way. I let in the lies and start to twist words. Evidence of new wrinkles or of one too many indulgences and I feel sorry for myself. The bitterness begins to take hold and the next thing I know I’m making plans to lash out and do what I can to transfer those feelings to someone else.

Yes, me, the loving wife, the doting mom of four, I have these feelings! Truly sometimes the Queen is stuck in between wanting to desperately be the giver I love to be, yet fighting the urge to be, well, a complete bitch.

I remember in my 20’s when my marriage was weak, my education wasn’t finished and I had two needy children at home, I received a phone call from a high school friend who was excited to tell me she was getting married. To this day I remember the call and what an asshole friend I was. I legitimately wanted her to feel as despondent about her approaching marriage as I was about the failure of mine. Being happy for her was not in my range of emotions. How sad and pathetic is that?!

Thankfully, maturity has taught me a few things. Realizing someone else’s joy and success does not cast a light on my failures was one of those huge aha lessons. Even when the days seem long and my heart feels weak and all I want to do is run away, I now recognize it only takes a little shift to refocus on the blessings in my life to restore my joy. It makes it so much easier to feel joy for others when I’m able to separate the lies from the truth and focus on the good I do have in my own life.

The most significant change to my overall happiness in life came when I accepted the responsibility for my own story. It has taken some work through the years, but learning to keep my heart in a safe place where it can be nurtured and trusted instead of out on my sleeve where it can be battered, lost and stolen has definitely improved the quality of my life.

So as this month of love gears up, I’m thinking of ways I can share my heart with others because it is, I’ve realized, what brings me the most joy. From random acts of kindness to intentional acts of love to those most dear to my heart, pouring into others makes me so happy.

Do you have some special ways you pour love onto others? I’d love to hear!