Grateful for Beauty
A month or so back a friend of mine needed a few pictures taken and while I am not a professional I am not too shabby in a pinch and for free! I took several shots and what I saw behind the camera is what I always see when I’m with this person. Perfect hair, photogenic smile so I loaded the pictures to my computer took a quick look and sent them off for her to use. I was totally blown away the next day to find she did not see the same thing that I saw and she was picking apart her picture. When I look at other people it is their heart, their joy, the person I know on the inside that causes their beauty to shine through on the outside as well. Why can we not look at ourselves this same way?
This encounter really had me thinking and analyzing my own view of myself. I am my worst critic when it comes to looking at my outward appearance. There are days when I am more willing to accept the new lines on my face as I remind myself all the happiness I have enjoyed to cause them. Other days I see my sagging jawline and realize I am not 28 as my mind thinks I am and I do not like it one little bit!
I’m sharing this set of pictures so you can see the transformation!
Years of spending time out in the sun trying to get that perfect tan have left me with lots of “wisdom” spots and “angel kisses” all over my face. That tan that I was only looking for because it was a sign for me of outward beauty. My dark circles are hereditary and I loathe them. Who thinks dark circles are beautiful? The lines around my mouth and eyes from all the years of smiling are great…when I’m smiling! But would you believe those lines are still there, carved into my face when it is at a complete rest? Just a few tweaks with my blemish tool in the 2nd picture and don’t I look just a little bit easier on the eyes? Add a little makeup in the 3rd picture and I look prettier right? To me I do but only on the outside. What if it was just this easy to erase the ugly on the inside?
In my bible study this week I felt the following verse was placed there on purpose for me to find so I would finally write this blogpost. God is so sneaky like that.
1 Samuel 16:7
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
When I was in junior high I was far from beautiful on the outside. My glasses covered my face, I had braces sooner than most and I had hair that was neither curly nor straight and I had not a clue how to manage it. I was “bigger” than most of my friends which meant I was not always able to dress the same way they did, though I tried, which made me look even more awkward. At that point, however, I was still beautiful on the inside. Still seeking the Lord and wanting to be a girl after God’s heart. One day a guy I had been friends with since the first grade said to me “when you get to be about 16 you are going to be hot, just wait”. Just wait….just wait? I have never forgotten those words. From that point on I no longer searched for God to fill my heart with beauty on the inside and instead I turned my focus to wanting to be beautiful on the outside. Not just beautiful but “hot” and obviously not for God but for guys in general. I made choices that may have made me look more attractive on the outside but I was doing things that did not make me feel beautiful on the inside.
For literally years I only felt beautiful if a man was noticing me. I had to have that security of knowing someone found me attractive. Even when I was in a committed relationship I still felt the need to be noticed by other men. And guess what? It never was enough. I never felt like I was pretty enough. I was missing the chance to realize the full potential I had to be beautiful because I was more worried about finding my beauty from people rather than God.
1 Peter 3:3-4
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
The past five years or so I have felt more beautiful than ever before in my life and I know it’s because I’ve realized only by becoming more beautiful on the inside will I ever feel true joy. Do I wish I could take a photoshop brush and erase some of those blemishes in my past as easy as I can correct a picture? Or maybe use a little makeup to pretty up some of my memories? I’m really not sure I would. Those blemishes in my past serve as a memory of a time when I was lost and remembering them remind me so much of the grace God provides.
Today I am grateful for beauty; the kind of beauty I can only find on the inside.
This post is exactly what I needed to read. I know I struggle daily when it comes to my outward appearance. This past week was especially hard because we were at the beach and I felt full of self doubt and hate at my outward appearance. Thankfully I have a great husband who reminds me that I am being silly and how much I am loved. BUT it is HARD! Thank you for sharing! You just wrote the post I was too scared to share. Thank you for being such a great example!
Have a great week!
Thank you for always reading JulieAnn! We are lucky girls to have husbands who see us for who we really are aren't we? Keith has seen me all different shapes and sizes and at my best and worst from the inside out and he still chooses to see the best in me. Hopefully someday we can have the confidence to always see what they see!
I absolutely love this post. You my friend are beautiful both inside and out!!!
Thank you Kimm. I hope that I reflect inner beauty more than I do the ugly but I know I still have my days. Have a great week friend!
Good Morning Shelly, This is an awesome post. I wish every teenage girl could read this. Your daughter is going to be one lucky gal to have a mom who "gets this" early on so when she is facing those awkward years you will know exactly what to say to her. I have t admit I do the same thing when I look at photos, find all the negative as I get older, but then I force myself to sit back and say, "stop, it is the feelings behind the picture I'm trying to capture." AND, so happy you've joined Emily's Grateful Heart Monday link up today. You have to link this to Tuesday Talk tomorrow – pinning now for all to see.
You are beautiful without a stitch of makeup girl! I know what you mean about not feeling beautiful unless others mentioned it, but i have to say I feel the most beautiful when I don't have any makeup and I'm with my husband on the couch 🙂 xo, Biana –BlovedBoston
Love this, Shelly! That verse from Peter is one we repeat often with Emmy and Landry. You are setting a BEAUTIFUL example for Carly Jo and all of us!
What a beautiful child of God you are!! This is a great message, especially for young girls, who I believe, struggle with it in today's world, even more than we do! I know I struggle with it so much here in my 40's but when I re-read these beautiful verses, I'm reminded, I'm humbled and I'm filled with his grace. You, look beautiful and your words show the tremendous beauty in your soul!!!! Happy Monday to a phenomenal lady!!!
Thank you Andrea…..I'm trying!! I still have so much work to do to be the person I know God expects me to be. Life is tough! But being in my 40's has been so much more liberating than I expected. Still somedays I look in that mirror and don't like what I see. Thank you so much for reading and for your kind words!
This post is the best. I was just talking with someone the other day about how we see something completely different in the mirror than other people see when they see us. I love that you also incorporated Bible verses in here as well. You are beautiful in all 3 of those pictures. Happy Monday xoxoxo
Thank you for reading Molly. Isn't it crazy how we are almost blinded by seeing our true self in the mirror? Maybe it's because only we know all the ugly that hides inside even though we really want so badly to be "good". Definitely so thankful for all the people who offer me grace on a daily basis. Hope you are having a great time on your road trip!
Shelly, this is so nice to read! I think everyone can relate to this. Thanks for being so honest this morning xo
Thank you Katelyn. This has been on my heart for awhile and I'm glad I was finally able to pull the words together. Have a great week!
Smart woman! My best friend and I are both 52 this year. We were shopping yesterday and she said that she has decided to "rock" her 50s instead of hiding. I love that thought. 🙂
Definitely Stacey! Being yourself on the inside and accepting every year allows you to be so much prettier on the outside. Have a great day!
I love the line in this post where you admit worrying about getting affirmation from people instead of from God. I know I've been guilty of that SO many times! Especially when you have an online presence, it's easy to feel good about yourself when you're getting Instagram likes and nice blog comments. Those aren't bad, but my expectation should come from the Lord. Thanks for the reminder and the challenge, Shelly!
Stopping by from Tuesday Talk 🙂
http://comehomeforcomfort.com
Thanks for reading Whitney! I know this is one of those areas I will always have to focus on and really want to be a better example for my girls.
What a great post, lady! I agree, I enjoy all the compliments when someone says I look beautiful because it is not something I always see in the mirror. I do find it funny that my husband compliments me more when my hair is a mess after a workout than when I'm all done up.
I am so glad it was today that i read this….I so needed to to hear it. I think we all have our moments when we feel less beautiful and forget that our beauty isn't just about what is on the outside. Thank you for sharing.
I'm so glad you found this at just the right time! I think as women we can all get a little down about this sometimes and the reminder for me is a good one. Thanks for reading!
Shelly, you are beautiful inside and out, beauty is not measured by how we look, but by how we act. And from what I see, you're a wonderful mother, a wonderful wife and a wholesome wonderful person. It shouldn't matter how we look to the world, but how we see ourselves. And how do you see yourself?
Now after all of those words of wisdom, I am in complete agreement that somedays, okay, most days, I don't feel beautiful, but my husband (that man) reminds me just how beautiful I am and the things I've done that are remarkable (like give birth to his child)
liz @ sundays with sophie
Thank you Liz! I'm not sure I really measure up to all these kind words but I'm trying. 🙂 Keith has definitely been my biggest supporter. He has seen my body go through so many changes and through them all he has always told me I'm beautiful. So glad you have a sweet husband like that too!
Such absolutely wonderful and encouraging words! I just love this. People may make snap judgments about the outward appearance but when you see, hear, experience God's joy through someone… there's no comparison – you see a gorgeous spirit and that person becomes one of the most beautiful people you've ever encountered. Yes, God gives us that beauty that shines from the inside – out!
Thanks for sharing (and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop).
Wishing you a lovely weekend.
xoxo
Catching up today and LOVE this post so much, Shelly. I connected to so much of it. And I'm in agreement with so many other commenters here – you are beautiful (!!!) inside and out!
Thanks Emily. Definitely something I still struggle with……but a work in progress!
Exactly! I don't think there is anything wrong with beautifying your outer appearance (in modesty and moderation) as long as the priority is beautifying your inner self through Christ. Why does it take so long for us women to realize this?! Now, for a good way to teach this to our daughters from the start! Thanks for an amazing post, Shelly! I love this – I'm featuring it on our Tuesday Talk Pinterest Board! -Jess
Sweet Little Ones
Thank you so much Jess!
Love this post again and again. Especially in today's culture of "picture perfect" Instagram shots, Facebook photos, Snapchat (not a clue) where every photo is cropped, edited, brushed over and then you have to think, what do they really look like. The older we get the more we look at ourselves and wish for the younger self on the outside, but on the inside, I'd like to think our true beauty is where the truth be told. Are we kinder, more gentle, have a tad more wisdom to share, etc. There is so much beauty in this post. I hope others truly read it and believe the next time they look in the mirror or look at a photo just how beautiful they really are.
What a beautiful post, Shellie. You are beautiful – inside and out. We are so HARD on ourselves. The older I get, the less I like pictures of me. I hate that I feel that way about myself! So silly. Man looks at the outward appearance – God looks at the heart. So true.
Thanks for the reminder of what is important.
So true, Michelle. You are one of the beautiful ones – inside & out.
Thanks so much Cathy! Going to the beach was really hard this past weekend….I use to love myself in a bathing suit but not so much anymore. I told my friend we had to make a pact to not talk bad about ourselves this weekend no matter how we felt…and we did it. And you know what? Never once did I worry about how I looked…we had a blast!
It's just so hard some days to see myself all the way through. I look at others in such a different view than I do myself. I definitely am much more beautiful on the inside now than I was when I was younger.