Friday Favorites – Be Brave
Happy Friday! I could not be more thrilled for the weekend. Initially this weekend was going to be a girls getaway but thankfully we both realized not even getting away would remove the to do list from our heads right now! No way were we wasting our time away without begin able to truly unplug. For some reason this week I have not been sleeping well which is not the norm for me and I am so looking forward to catching up with sleep and being a little lazy.
I’m also going to be working on some meal planning and found this free downloadable template I thought might help. I’m hoping to plan for breakfast, lunch and dinner and create my grocery list all on the same page. Next step will be ordering my groceries online! I’m really hoping this weekend I will maximize my time.
Braving the scrapbook table is also on my list! This is an area that has been neglected forever and a day. My bones have been aching for a little all day scrapbook session but I’m not confident this will be the weekend. At least getting organized will have me ready when the time comes.
Enough fluff, here is some all out honesty for you on the blog today. Things you will rarely see me discuss or comment about are politics and current events. Politics, for obvious reasons, as I do not feel the need nor is it my strong suit to debate the ins and outs of left vs right. Current events, however, is a different story. I joke sometimes to my friends if something really terrible is about to happen they may want to give me a buzz because I would not know. There was a time when I was an every day news watching kind of girl but when the world got a little uglier I shut it out. I don’t watch it on TV, I don’t look news up on the internet and I avoid reading the paper. It has been my way of sheltering my heart because I really just don’t want to know or believe the world can be such an ugly place nor do I want to believe there is so much hate among the people I share even my small little town with. None of that changes the fact these things all exist.
I don’t want to be brave enough when it comes right down to it. Do I love others and try to support good in the world? Yes, I think I do but is my silence and unwillingness to be informed just outright cowardly? I consider myself a strong woman right up until I look at myself in this area.
This week I witnessed two women share from their heart and be brave. Lindsay from Bourbon and Lipstick shared Fighting the Good Fight and it really made me think. As a person in a privileged class it is really easy to believe things are not so bad but it’s true, just because I haven’t experienced discrimination and racism directly does not mean it doesn’t exist.
The second incident came from my friend Katy, one of the bravest women I know. Katy is not afraid AT ALL to share her feelings on these matters and her post this week, Raising the Change, really did bring up the essence of where all this begins. Hate is learned but so is love!
So here’s just a small example of how something small can change us if we are willing to just open our mouths and stop accepting those small things which have become so easily acceptable. The thing about Katy, when she chooses not to keep silent she shares from a place of love and truly wants to educate instead of shame you. I’m not proud to share this but want to as just a small example of how even I find myself using derogatory words which could be harmful to others without a second thought. This week I shared an invite I was working on with Katy and in my email I actually wrote “is this too gay” without a second thought. When Katy responded she wrote “now Shelly, if you are asking if it is dumb then just say dumb”. Y’all, it took me five minutes to figure out what the hell she was talking about! As a society it has become that easy to say something so simply without even giving it a second thought as to the implications it could have on someone else. My uncle was gay, I have friends who are gay and I would be appalled for them to know I was throwing around the word as some sort of negative.
I will still probably not watch the news daily and it is possible continue to live under a rock when it comes to the ugly in the world. What I will do is try to be brave like Katy. When I use my words I will choose them more wisely and when I hear someone else use a derogatory word I will work to educate them with kindness. Mostly I will work to raise my kids to see how words can inflict pain as easily as a weapon.
How are you being brave today?
Wishing you all a love filled weekend!
Visit the Linkup Love to see who I’m joining this week!
I have been similar…in Jan & Feb I was glued to the news…articles, tv, everything. I was becoming depressed and WAY too anxious, so I had to shut it out. Maybe it’s not “right”, but my husband is still glued to most of it and he fills me in almost daily. It’s easier to digest when it comes from him. I know it’s a privilege to say so, but I need to guard my heart so I can be all there for my little guys.
It is a privilege Jenn and I feel guarding my heart is really my best defense right now. Loving God and loving others so my kids learn to do the same is my focus. I would just be a huge ball of anxiety if I immersed myself in the news. When my mom visits she puts on a news station and has it running constantly and it is just too much for me to handle.
I refuse to watch the news and not because I want to be a hermit. I know the sh** that is going on in the world and quite frankly I don’t want it bringing me down. I was raised that I was here to love and take care of those around me and that’s all I can do. My actions and words will show my character and for some (maybe) it will make them think. That’s it – that’s what I am capable of. My heart breaks for those right up the road in Charlottesville (literally right up the road pretty much.) We cannot continue to let everything be OK and say everyone in mentally ill. Just saying.
I just can’t either Amanda. I would be a depressed ball of nerves all the time.
I don’t watch the news and had no idea what was going on in Charlottesville until Stephanie texted me, “Mama, are the Nazis coming back?!” I’m like WTH are you talking about?! And all about a stupid statue that isn’t hurting anybody. Why don’t they just tear down Mt. Rushmore, too?! Good grief! We have too many other things to be worried about like the homeless, our vets and men getting killed over seas for our freedom, and worrying about that quack in North Korea bombing us!!
It’s just so hard for me to believe so much hate still exists Laura. I’m really just too busy for that much hate and can only imagine how exhausting it is to fill your heart with so much hate.
I try to live under a rock. Some call it ignorance but I like it there. Besides any time I crawl from under it I am bombarded with the garbage, half of which seems to be a fake conspiracy just trying to control peoples minds and cloak them with fear. It disgusts me that so much of the hate isn’t even genuine It is actors being paid to do this. (I’m assuming you know about the craigslist ad taken out a week before the events happened) Its an embarrassment to everything this nation was founded upon. Okay, I’ll end my rant. Long story short, I don’t often speak up either.
Beth….I do NOT know about the craigslist ad. When I say I have sheltered myself I definitely mean to a big degree. I’ll have to check that out. Speaking out is hard and sometimes I just really feel like I’m not armed with enough knowledge. I surely do not handle it well if someone who is strongly opposed begins to tear town my opinions. God is in control of it all at the end of the day….I’m holding onto that promise.
I love how brave you were to share this post, Shelly! I don’t think I am brave enough to share super from the heart issues or my thoughts on current events. I think I’m a pleaser and want to keep everyone happy, so I don’t verbalize my opinions to too many. This quote is something that I teach my children at school, but I need to become better at myself- “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” – MLK Jr.
Oh Allie I totally get the pleaser mode. I live there most of the time too! I’m not afraid to share my thoughts and opinions but at the same time always want to be conscious about my intentions and really question my heart as I do. Love this quote!
Love this post Shelly! I try really hard to stay away from the news channels, all the stuff that gets shared on social media, etc. It drives my husband crazy, but I just can’t take it. I am definitely going to work on being more brave 🙂
And thanks for those printables 🙂 Happy Weekend!
It really would bring me down, Vanessa, if I watched all of that every day. I started subscribing to The Skimm…if you have never heard about it you might try it. It’s a daily email that kind of gives you some context around what’s going on but you choose whether or not to follow links to get into the nitty gritty.
I used my templates this morning to plan and ordered my groceries online! I feel like I’ve been uber productive. 🙂
Goodness me – crying. Love you and so honored that you think I’m brave.
Oh the power of words! What is happening in our world is so ugly and I try not to watch because I feel so powerless. I guess I’m not because small acts of kindness and love make a big impact. Sometimes I get so down when the kids at my school say hurtful things to one another, I know they are learning it at home and it seems like we’re constantly fighting an uphill battle. I don’t give up, I keep believing and I keep loving even the kids who seem so mean and hateful, I smile at them, I rub their backs, I tell them how happy I am to see them, I compliment them. Most of the time I get a positive reaction but it takes persistence. It’s easier with kids; just today a mom confronted me after school ready to take me down, accusing me of taking her son’s water bottle! I had nothing to do with his water bottle and had no idea what she was talking about. She was so mean and full of rage! Even after I talked to her and her son and said I had no idea what they were talking about she then asked him, “So Ms. Rohr didn’t take it?” And he said no she chuckled and stormed off. No sorry about that, no NOTHING. My co-workers were standing by watching and we were all stunned. Ouch. It hurt my feelings. If I were brave I’d kill her with kindness because she must be going through something awful to be so mean.
Sorry I wrote a book here Shelly, it was cathartic for me!!!
xo,
Kellyann
Since we moved on from elementary I haven’t witnessed some of this as much but can totally envision interactions like this. I also try to tell my kids when they are dealing with unkind interactions that they really have no idea what the other person might be dealing with to cause them to be so full of rage. I get it, I have bad days too but I would be totally exhausted if I let so much hate into my heart.
It’s hard to be brave about expressing opinions on the internet because you know you’re going to catch flack from someone or offend someone else. I think there is so much hate and resentment being expressed by all sides of the controversies right now. It’s so discouraging. Sometimes it’s easier to tune it all out and focus on my own family and community.
I’m positive I feel exactly the same Tanya. I am guilty of believing my one little voice can’t really make a difference but the fact is in our community, in our kids daily lives we do make a difference.
Hope you have a super weekend!
Loved reading this…made me do some thinking too. Glad you let it out, this is your space and your words will have power right here, right now. Have a great weekend, friend.
Same to you friend.
Thank you for this thoughtful post. I think we can all be braver about ending our silence, but also realize we need to do it wisely. I do follow the news daily and try to stay as educated as possible about what is going on in our world with the hope I can use this knowledge to raise awareness. I followed the links you provided for both Lindsay’s and Katy’s blog and equally enjoyed their posts. I also read the articles that Katy linked in her post and found one article so powerful, but was disheartened to realize it was written in 2000. Made me wonder if things will ever change with all this hate. You have taken a huge step in showing us all what it is to be brave….I will do my best to follow your lead. God Bless!
Linda isn’t that crazy to think as long ago as 2000 we were still facing these same battles. I have lived in my privileged hole for so long and I guess honestly just didn’t want to believe these things really existed anymore. It’s hard for me to understand the hate because it’s just so foreign to my heart. Hate is exhausting.
This post rings so true to me. I need to be braver in this area. I try really hard to build good, strong characters in my children and my students. Love is learned, and I want to be that light to kids but I need to start by being a little braver. Thank you so much for this post, it really made me reflect and think about how I can push myself. Thank you.
I think we all can do better Jenna. I definitely am guilty of letting the ignorance of the world just pass right over me without a second thought. As it is with most things when I see things come out in my kids is when I really know I’ve got to get better.
I love your honesty in this post! I have also been guilty of “is this gay” or “that’s so gay” and I have family members and friends that are gay too. I have gotten a lot better and haven’t caught myself saying it in a really long time. However, I still need to work on “that’s so retarded” 🙁 I caught myself saying that this weekend and cringed, praying no one heard me. But I think it’s those awareness moments that help stop the cycle. Eventually we say it less and less until it’s no longer part of our vocabulary. Thanks for being raw in your post!
Misty that is another one I struggle with! It is all about stopping the cycle so that our kids learn it’s not okay. For sure there were lots of words dropped when I was growing up that are not heard at my house so for sure progress!
Thank you for sharing this. Sometimes we do need someone to gently remind us. It took a while to take some words out of my every day language, which I am happy to report are gone, and I no longer use, but occasionally it almost slips out and I think, nope can’t say that.
It’s crazy how things just become so casual…I mean we become so desensitized to it all….like even the F bomb doesn’t raise eyebrows much anymore. We have to be the change! For our kids….for our country!!
It’s so easy to slip and say something that in the past wouldn’t have had a negative connotation, but today does. Thanks for the thought provoking post Shelly and your openness and honesty. XO