Finding Joy in Giving
Do you find joy in giving gifts or do you often catch yourself with an expectation of receiving a gift in return? While maybe not a tangible gift, I’m guilty of looking for something in return to fill me up.
Loving on other people and preparing special surprises is something I have loved to do from the time I was little. I remember how much fun it was to go to the dime store and buy little gifts for every member of my family; pot holders and coffee cups and little trinkets that made me think of them. One year I remember cutting stockings out of felt, stuffing and sewing them into ornaments and I was so proud as I wrapped each one.
Somewhere along the way the giving became confused with the receiving. At some point in time I realized the receiver might not necessarily be thrilled with the gift and my feelings were hurt. The challenge to find the perfect gift became so important and receiving the reaction I needed became the focus.
All too often this is true for us isn’t it? Even when we are not talking about actual gifts received on Christmas morning, we are choosing to give of ourselves to others all the time. So many times I have given of my time, my energy, my love, my money only to receive nothing in return. No appreciation, no thank you, no valued gift. There were countless times when my excitement over giving turned to disappointment when I did not receive any of these things in return. When we add an expectation to a gift we are immediately in for a let down.
I realized the joy I feel in my heart when I am giving of myself or giving a special gift to family and friends is my gift in return. Removing all expectations allows me to enjoy the giving to the fullest. It opens your eyes to be able to see where the giving is really needed most.
I am grateful today for all the people who have given their hearts, their time, their money to me over the years with absolutely no expectation. I am grateful to know full well what true giving feels like. In this season of giving I challenge you to give freely with no strings attached and I challenge you to receive gifts from others with a grateful heart.
This is such a great post and a wonderful reminder, especially at this time of year. I love to give, but sometimes hate to "put myself out there" for fear of a negative (or lack of) reaction. Have a good Monday!
I'm so glad I read this today. I was just trying to explain to my kids about this over the weekend. Learning to give and expect nothing in return isn't as easy as one would think but it is so important !!! Thanks for writing this !
love your blog.. it's so bright and welcoming! 🙂 I love this time of year and I know that I need to focus more on the giving aspect.. I love giving gifts but even more than that, I need to focus on sharing the love of Christ esp this season!
You're so wonderful my friend!! I literally could have written this post as I adore doing special things for others on a daily basis, no strings attached. Your grateful heart is and should be contagious!!
Such a beautifully written post!! I have never met you but I know what a grateful person you are! xo, biana –BlovedBoston
so beautiful and so true. The best gifts are the ones given with no intentions other than to make the receiver feel joy. xo
Confessions of a Frumpy Mommy
I completely agree with everything you have said here. Especially this time of year too – our pastors have really been preaching on this lately! Life is so much more joyful when you give.
What a wonderful post, lady! So true <3!
I am definitely one of those people who looks for the "right" reaction in others when I gift them. It makes me only want to gift the "easy" people in my life- the ones I know will love and appreciate my trinket/time/thought. But I know deep down it's the tough ones that need my attention and heart: the angsty teenage cousin, the gruff great uncle, the frantic aunt. And regardless of how they react, my soul should fill to the brim just knowing that I am giving a part of myself to them 🙂
Love this! And it couldn't be more true! I used to feel that way as well, and now I'm taking the same approach as you and it's just that much sweeter 🙂
Green Fashionista
Aww you're so sweet and thank you for this post! I wasn't expecting to see my name pop up. You are talking about heart lessons we all learn in life. It's good to remember how much we actually receive from giving to others.
I love this! I can't tell you how many times I've forced Ryan to "react again" just so that it's what I thought it should be. What a great reminder, as usual!
Great post! I love giving gifts as well, especially when the receiver does not expect it! I love that you mention how much happier you feel when you give without expectation of a certain response to your gift. This is so true and a great reminder!
Of course you have!! You crack me up and I love you!
Took me way too many years, Elle, to figure this one out.
So much sweeter! Thanks for reading Kate!
It's really so hard and I definitely still get caught up in wanting the reaction for me. I cannot tell you how many times in my life my feelings have just been so hurt only to find out the receiver really did love my gift….just was not quite as excited as I expected. Have a great week!
Yes mam it sure is.
Thank you so much Biana! I still definitely have my days of forgetting all of these things. Writing helps me reinforce to myself as well as share with everyone. 🙂
Oh Andrea how long it took me to get to this point….and how often my still fail. Thankfully I have this outlet to write about all this stuff jumbled in my heart to continue to reinforce these things to myself. Have a great week!
thanks so much Katie! It really does change the spirit of Christmas when we turn our focus to the real reason for the season.
Yep…I think watching Courtney DeFeo's video and knowing she changed her thinking after hearing her kids repeatedly ask "what are we getting" and she knew she had to get them thinking what are we giving instead.
I definitely still struggle with this Tanya. There are times I think it's not even worth it for some people but when I push myself forward even if they do not seem appreciative I focus on what I am feeling in my heart and it changes my perspective. I think when my intention is focused in the right spot it is so much easier.
That's why I LOVE doing things that no one knows about – the Ding Dong ditching, the leaving things for others to find, the buying dinners in secret. You get the joy of giving. Period. And, it's just so much fun!!!
This is such a lovely sentiment.
I love giving and I also love the surprise in giving.
This was such a wonderful reminder and so timely too.
Thanks for sharing (and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop).
Wishing you a lovely day.
xoxo
Thanks so much for hosting such a motivational linkup Jennifer!