10 Questions: One Year of the Pandemic

Recently I listened to the 10 Things to Tell You podcast where Laura Tremaine threw out 10 questions to mark one year of the pandemic. Listening to her share her 10 answers to these questions made me realize this was something I really wanted to journal so I thought I would share the answers here. Feel free to grab the questions and answer for yourself.

ONE | What was life like early on in 2020?

2020 began with so much excitement. We found out the first week that our first grandchild would be a girl and we were all tickled pink. Dillon turned 18 and his senior year of baseball along with all the other senior milestones were approaching and we were so looking forward to it all. Riley left for spring training and dance competition for Carly began in February.

Carly headed off to spring break with a friend and Keith and I spent a few days away alone in Austin. I had my last shopping trip to the Domaine in Austin where I tried on clothes at The Loft and purchsed an Apple watch from the Apple store. Then I sat drinking margaritas and laughing with a childhood friend and never once did we talk about the news.

Later that day I remember sitting at a baseball tournament in Georgetown and constantly updating my twitter account reading the news. It didn’t seem like a real possibility that it would be our last time seeing Dillon in a high school uniform. Shortly after we received our first email extending spring break by an additional week and that extension would then become the end of April and eventually the remainder of the school year. No school, no more high school baseball, and so much uncertainty.

TWO | What was the biggest change?

Going from our daily routine of school and work, dance and baseball to being at home 24/7 was the biggest change. I am not someone who watches the news with any regularity but I became obsessed with following the daily updates and watching the live updates daily from our local health advisors. Keith was still having to go to work daily but was not allowed into the office so he was home early every day.

And if I’m being honest, lots more hand washing. I am not a germaphobe and literally have not even gone through a single container of hand sanitizer this entire year. Shifting to washing my hands more regularly was definitely a big change for me.

THREE | What were your coping mechanisms?

Learning to turn off the constant feed of information was important for me. It was too stressful to constantly see the numbers increasing and I had to finally step away. Shifting into helper mode by supporting our local businesses by purchasing takeout and sharing specials local businesses were offering made me feel useful.

We walked at least 3 miles each evening and I came to love having Keith to talk with instead of just listening to someone else jabber in my ear. We had family dinner often and played alot of games and tried to shift to finding the joy in the situation.

I feel like each week would start with abounding positiviity and the attitude that “we got this” only to find by Thursday I would feel defeated. It was a constant cycle of up and down that felt so heavy.

I laugh at myself often when I think about how we shifted to try and stay positive. We were ordering cookie decorating kits, making meals for others, drawing murals on the sidewalk, all with no real clue that this would last more than a month or so. Surely by the time things heated up in Texas the virus would play itself out. What a fool!

FOUR | What did connection in your relationships look like?

I loved being able to stay in touch with my friends face to face on Marco Polo. Those daily talks definitely did a ton to lift my mood and just gave me an outlet to vent and speak out loud the fear, stress, joys we were experiencinig. I also randomly facetimed friends I had not seen in forever and we caught up over virtual happy hours.

Carly & I channeled our creativiity and made some darling Easter cards for some local nursing homes as well as a few family and friends and it made me so happy. We still saw our adult children and also my mom on a regular basis.

FIVE | What will you remember most?

Probably what I will remember most is the loss of Dillon’s senior year. Memories that will never be made left me feeling so sad for him. Those feelings carried right over to his freshman year of college which have been equally disappointing with only virtual classes.

Tryouts for the high school drill team were moved to a virtual setting. Carly had to learn the dance and kick routine and we had to record and submit. I will never forget laying awake all night with an ache in my heart after finding out she did not make the team. I knew she would be fine but it was just one more negative blow that felt defeating at the time.

The realization that I touch my face way too much and use way more toilet paper than I really need! The feeling of walking into a store with or without a mask (pre mandate) not knowing which was the socially acceptable thing to do and feeling awkward no matter which one I chose.

The number of people whose livelihood was stripped away was shocking and unerving. I’ve never been afraid of being unemployed because I always felt I could find another job but when work literally stops that is no longer true.

All the good people who stepped up in so many ways continued to remind me there is still so much good in the world.

Six | What was the biggest challenge?

The second week of March I was told I could no longer visit my Mamaw and the following week they informed me her 100 days of skilled nursing were up and I would need to move her. Wow, finding a new assisted living facility who would take a new patient much less actually moving an elderly person to a new assisted living care facility during a pandemic when you cannot really be there to explain it or get them settled is hard. No daily visits to be able to observe how they are adjusting and a real unsettled feeling as to whether you are making the best decisions was a tad stressful.

While I had been seeing changes in my mom for years, she was adamant nothing was wrong and refused to let me take her to the doctor. A pandemic with isolation changed all of that in a hurry. She took a nose dive and began a 6 month journey that revealed depression, severe anxiety, substantial weightloss and impaired memory. Making appointments to physicially see a doctor in the middle of a pandemic when you don’t have any legal paperwork giving you authoriiity to speak on your parents behalf is not easy. I will never forget the stress, frustration and overall fear I felt to have no way to help her when she could no longer help herself.

Then in June my Mamaw passed away and planning a funeral during a pandemic also became a challenge.

SEVEN | What was a beautiful memory?

Not being able to be at the hospital supporting Riley & Taylor as they welcomed our first grandbaby was not the way I would have chosen but it ended up being such a beautiful memory. Seeing the two of them have the uninterupted time to bond as a family was so precious. Haisley Grace arrived just in time to give us all hope and has continued to give us so much joy all year long. Without a pandemic, Riley would have only received 3 days off from baseball to be with his new baby girl and instead he was home for her first 9 months.

Dillon’s outdoor graduation ceremony brought tears to my eyes. We didn’t know if it would happen at all but then it did and being outdoors on an oddly mild Texas summer night made it such a sweet memory. I honestly think it was better than any other I’ve attended.

EIGHT | What do you believe now that you didn’t one year ago?

No matter how much you think you have planned for your future or how secure you may feel in your career, no one has a guarantee.

Only you can make the decision during tough times as to what is best for your family and there is no blanket answer.

Everything you read is not true and you have a personal responsibility to find the truth.

NINE | What would you do differently?

I would spend way less time stressing over the things I could not control….like the pandemic! And spend more time doing all those things I’ve always said I would do if I just had the time. So many lost opportunities early on to scrapbook, organize my cabinets, go fishing or get in the best shape of my life. Nope, I didn’t do any of those things those first few months!

TEN | What do you want to carry forward?

Time moves forward no matter what is going on in the world and if you don’t pay attention you will miss precious moments and opportunities to make a difference. God is a refuge in hard times and will show you the light if you are brave enough to look. There are so many things I will never take for granted again; time with family and friends, hugs, in person school, smiles of a stranger, dining out, working out at the gym, face to face meetings and vacations! I will treasure all that this life brings.

I love this quote and feel like it covers this last year so well. “You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren’t paying attention to.” Robin Williams. This was definitely true for me this year. Some things were so good to find and some were hard but necessary. All grew me in one way or another.

I think it’s fair to say we will all be happy to get back to living but none of us will soon forget our first year living through a pandemic. What has changed you most this past year?